Dear friends of Jun Aubrey Zhang and Margaret Yong Chen,

We are here today to join together in marriage this man and this woman. Today they finalize the covenant of marriage in which they shall live. I want to show that the Bible teaches that married life reflects two divine models:

God created marriage for us, but He also made our marriages for Himself. He gave Adam a lovely wife. He made them in His image, just as He said, "Let us make man in our image."

The Father, Son and Holy Spirit have always been united. When they made man they made creatures in a way like Themselves. When God made our first parents, He said of Adam and Eve that what He had made was very good [1]. He made man to be male and female. He made us to reflect His glory.

When people are married, a new family is begun. He wants a man to leave his father and mother and live with his wife [2]. God is a Family; He made us to be families.

Our family life is not exactly like His. Our marriages last for this life and no longer. His family life lasts forever. God's family life is perfect and holy. We have sin, so it is often hard for some to see the glory of God in many homes today. But it is still true -- God made our families to be like His. Our married life has God for its model.

Nothing else in all the world shows the unity of God the way marriage does. Some try to illustrate the Trinity using water, because it can be steam, liquid or ice. But these three are unlike each other, so that illustration actually confuses. We are made in His image and water is not!

Married people are a union of equals. Man and woman are equally human, but we have distinct roles. We live in a relationship of authority and subordination. We are like God because He made us to be like Him and He wanted it this way.

Angels are not united as couples or in a three-in-one unity that excludes other angels. Only in mankind do two become one. He has allowed us this privilege. Human life is modeled on God's. The Father is the Head of the Son; Christ as a Man became the head of all other men, and a husband is the head of his wife. [3]

God wants us to have these roles. [4] Husbands and wives may reverse roles only if the Father and Son do as well, which will never happen. The Persons of the Trinity are happy to live as They do. Authority and subordination are in the very life of God. [5]

And so we must have husbands to lead and women to support; men to direct and listen, women to intercede and follow. Real human life is to be a complementary harmony, with husbands who love, care and oversee, and with women who respond, obey and help.

What I say, the world hates. It hates authority so it does not worship the Father Who sent the Son. [6] It despises submission and does not adore the Son who obeyed and came at His Father's command. [7] So Christ spoke not His own opinion but only the Word He learned from His Father in heaven. [8] How unlike God the world is. The world finds the real God distasteful. It prefers that God be like us rather than us to be like God.

So Aubrey and Margaret, I urge you to honor your calling as Christians in this present darkness, to honor your roles as husband and wife. Even in your imperfections you are granted the privilege to show God's family unity. As husband and wife, may you reflect the glory of God.

There is another remarkable divine model for marriage. It is so high that it embarrasses us. When we hear of it, we all want to hide, especially husbands. We feel like Peter when he said, "Depart from me for I am a sinful man, O Lord!" [9] No one has ever lived up to the standard, but it is there; it is real; it is true. This model is the believer's union with Christ, [10] where He is the Husband and we are the bride. Earlier we spoke of the inner workings of the Trinity: how the Father and Son relate. Now we face how Christ the Lord relates outside the Trinity to us His people.

For God to have unity should not surprise us. But that the Son of God should woo and win human rebels is a major surprise. That He should change us into His likeness is a supernatural difficulty. [11] That He should embrace us as His partner in life and elevate us to His side is amazing grace. That He would allow us to wear His name and enjoy His inheritance with Him, is a wonderful mystery. [12] And all of this is true. All Christians are married; we are married to Christ.

Hear the Word of the Lord:

Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. After all, no one ever hated his own body, but he feeds and cares for it, just as Christ does the church – for we are members of his body. For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh. This is a profound mystery – but I am talking about Christ and the church. However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband. Ephesians 5:22-33

Christian marriage has this example. Husbands must care for their wives, and treat them always with the same consideration they would have for themselves. That is, he must love his wife as he loves himself and the woman is to obey her husband the way the church submits to Christ. The model of Christ and His church shows us that we are to give ourselves for our wives. The Lord Jesus did that.

And when the Lord Jesus gave Himself, it was so He could save us and make us His. He would bring us out of darkness into His marvelous light. [13] He would rescue us from this evil age, where people are being hated and they hate in return. [14]

Christ is the light men need. He came into this darkness and the darkness did not understand Him. Yet He was the true light that gives light to man. He came to His own and His own people rejected Him. But to all who do receive Him, He gave us the right to call ourselves children of God. And it is He who gave us birth so that we would believe. [15]

For Him to deliver us from darkness, He had to deal with our sin. As sinners we could never be joined with Him in an unholy yoke. He would not become sinful, and we could not make ourselves holy. So He came to change us so He could fellowship with us.

God became a man! The Creator entered His creation, born of a woman. [16] He faced sin in the ways we never have. He endured its temptation and resisted it in perfect purity. [17] He proved Himself to be a righteous man. Then He stood in our place as sinners. He took our guilt. [18] Our sin was laid on Him as if He had done it all. [19] He took not only the accusation of our sin, but also our penalty. He went to the cross as a sacrifice to bear the sins of His bride [20], so she could be His cherished wife forever. God has given all who believe in Him from every nation forgiveness and righteousness on our record. [21] Because we were dead in sin we could never respond to His overtures, so He even gave us a new heart that would repent of our sin and believe in Him. Nothing has been left out. And all was at His cost.

How is that for a husband? Zhang Jun, you will never in all your married life rise to such a model. Every husband has to say, "Father, forgive me; I am not the kind of husband the Lord Jesus is."

Today two people born in China and born in sin, come together to be married. There was never a time when God had not planned your salvation and chosen you to have it. [22] Centuries ago, the Father sent His obedient Son. Jesus did His work on the cross for you. The Holy Spirit was sent to convict both Aubrey and Margaret of sin and your need of a Savior. [23] Both of you have come to Christ. And now you are a gift from Christ to each other. This is a marvelous and beautiful thing. Both of you have come out of darkness. Just as God said long ago, "Let light shine out of darkness." He has made His light shine in the heart of Zhang Jun and Chen Yong, to give you the light of the knowledge of the glory of God, found in the face of Jesus Christ. (2 Corinthians 4:6)

As their friend, I can say again, they thank God for His mercy to them. As a servant of their Lord, I repeat in your hearing what Jesus said when He was on this earth, "I am the light of the world. Whoever follows me will never walk in darkness, but will have the light of life." [24]

David H. Linden
An elder of Bethel United Reformed Church, Calgary, AB
A missionary with Action International Ministries

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1. Genesis 1:26-31
2. Matthew 19:4-6
3. 1 Corinthians 11:3
4. 1 Peter 3:1-7
5. 1 Corinthians 15:27,28
6. John 3:16,17
7. John 8:42
8. John 8:28; John 12:49,50
9. Luke 5:8
10. Romans 6:5
11. 1 John 3:2
12. Revelation 2:26; 3:12; 21:7
13. 1 Peter 2:9
14. Galatians 1:4; Titus 3:3
15. John 1:1-14
16. Galatians 4:4
17. Hebrews 4:15
18. 2 Corinthians 5:21
19. Isaiah 53:5,6
20. Hebrews 7:27
21. Psalm 2:8; Romans 5:15-19
22. Psalm 51:5; Ephesians 1:3-14; 2 Timothy 1:8-10
23. John 16:5-11
24. John 8:12